SQL TUNING WORKSHOP

The SQL Cafe

Transform bloated SQL into espresso-shot efficiency

6,327ms47ms

99.3% faster with proper optimization

One Query. Ten Mistakes.

You've seen it: a query that should take milliseconds crawls for seconds. The culprit? Stacked anti-patterns that compound into performance catastrophe.

SELECT * -- Fetching 80 columns
FROM orders o
WHERE YEAR(o.order_date) = 2024 -- Non-sargable!
  AND o.total = '25.99' -- Type mismatch!

How It Works

Three steps to transform your SQL understanding

Your Path to Query Enlightenment

The Schema

Understand the battlefield

The Query

Meet the monster: 6,327ms

Espresso Shots

10 fixes, one at a time

✓

47ms

Performance perfection

Ten Anti-Patterns. Ten Fixes.

Interactive visualizations for each concept

1
SELECT *
The Kitchen Sink
2
Sargability
The Function Grind
3
Type Conversion
The Wrong Roast
4
N+1 WHERE
The Infinite Refill
5
N+1 SELECT
The Hidden Tab
6
DISTINCT
The Double Shot
7
OR Conditions
The Split Order
8
NOT IN
The Null Surprise
9
Missing Indexes
The Slow Brew
10
No LIMIT
The Bottomless Cup

Ready to Optimize?

Start with the schema, dissect the query, master the fixes.

Start with The Schema
Or jump to: The Query · Espresso Shots · About